Z

Dear You,

Your strength has literally blown me away. In the short while that you've let this particular stranger into your most inner fears, I've seen a person's heart that is so deep and true. Your intentions in this life seem innocent and pure and therefore I will never understand why life deals the hands it does to the people it chooses. I question more and more each day whether or not things happen with rhyme and reason or are just a complete random assignment, like pushing "shuffle" on life's CD player to see what happens when. One thing is for certain, however, and that is the fact that you've made an impacting impression on my life that I will never forget.

I don't know if I could do it, roles reversed. If I could face the world with a poker face and not let them see me collapsing to the floor on the inside. YOUR strength is an example to me. Your concern for others, while you should be concerned for yourself, makes me well up inside with an aching desire to banish the burden from your life.

Nothing anyone could say, me included, can make anything feel better. All I can do is tell you that this stranger will always listen to what you have to say. You didn't chose to be an example of courage to anyone, but you are just that to me, none the less. It's a privilege to be part of your life, regardless of how small a part it may be. It's sometimes easier to talk to those we know the least about the things that burden us this most. My ears are always open.

Stay encouraged. Your very being is a special addition to this world.

With extreme respect,
Mason Douglas.

Incense Induced Headache

I just put a note on my nextdoor neighbor's door. I hate doing that. He smokes so much though and then burns so much incense that my entire apartment smells like both. Our building circulates really strangely. Air is forced into each apartment and then out through the front door and into the hallway. If you open your windows (as my neighbor does to further ventilate HIS unit) the air is forced even faster into the hallway and into other's apartments and the process is reversed; air is pushed into other's apartments and not out.

Gosh I hate being the one that lodges a complaint. What do you even say in that situation? "Dear neighbor, not to be a bother, but quit living your life the way you want to, because it's bothering me." Well, it kind of is. I was nice. I said I'd much rather go to the source than be one of those people that bitches to management. I even said the word "appreciate," "sincerely," and the phrases "if you wouldn't mind," and "no big thing." I might as well have just opened a can of Oklahoma on his ass and been all "aint no thang but a chicken wang, but could you stop smokin' so much, it aint cool."

Oh well, I bet my apartment is in flames when I come home tomorrow from work. Not that I signed the note (of course, duh.. "your neighbor" will suffice.) He'll probably just leave me a note that says ".. yeah and we can all hear you singing off key in the shower EVERY day." Well, GUILTY as charged.

I'm going to make a CD I think. I've been meaning to for about 2 months. Let the list be compiled, let the tracks be burned, and let my neighbor stop smelling up my life with his lifestyle.

So for now, goodnight from the land of the cold and the apartment that smells like an incense-peddling-market in Jakarta,
Mason

MySpace and the voyeur in Us All!

It smells like cigarettes and perfume in here (here=work). Because my co-worker just came in that smells like cigarettes and perfume. I bet one happened then the other got sprayed to cover the first one. She also brought with her the stench of a bad mood. It smells rich with anger. I want to lean over my cube wall and say "Crackin' a few skulls today?" but chances are she'd crack mine.

Does anything ever start popping up as a theme in your life and suddenly keep rearing its head? For example: when you pass a restaurant and think "that place looks cool" and then you see and advertisement for it on TV when you get home and think "odd, I just was thinking about that place." 2 hours later a friend asks you if you've ever been there. A day later someone tells you they just ate there and it was really good, etc. And you suddenly start thinking..is this some sort of sign? You follow? Okay that's what is going on with myspace.com. I wonder if the MySpace fad will fade ("fade" is just the word fad with an "e" on the end.. cool). A friend told me to get on there and check things out because it's addictive. Then, suddenly it seemed everyone in the world was talking about myspace. Even Dateline NBC did a story on how the popular website "amongst teens" (ahem: see also people in their mid-twenties apparently) is a breeding ground for sexual nasties trying to find kids. Ewe. Either way, MySpace is takin' over the world folks. It's creepy in a way. I think we all have a little voyeur in us who wants to be able to look in on what others are doing without being seen. We also have a tiny exhibitionist who wants to show everyone how pretty and clever we are these days too! Find that person from high school, look at where they live now, see who their friends are on MySpace and spy on the basics of their present life. All the while, no one has any idea you've been snooping around. On the other hand, the information YOU post on your MySpace is fair game for the public to see. That's where the exhibitionist in all of us comes out to play. We basically show off all the exciting details of our lives, make sure we mention where we live now, what hot job we have, put our best pictures up to share with the world, etc. All the while knowing that someone from your past might stumble upon the page or do a search for your name. You better believe that when you're typing out your information on MySpace you're keeping in mind all the people who might find it. Making sure your life sounds neato. Wording things perfectly. Only putting up the pictures that you look purdy in.

Then all of a sudden, *BAM*, you've been hit with a "friend request" from someone you knew 8 years ago that found your MySpace page because you were on John's page listed as a friend and John was friends with Sarah and Sarah was friends with the someone person from 8 years ago. AHH! It's all confusing but the moral of the story is that 6 degrees of separation is a thing of the past. It's got to be 3 degrees now.

I bought TiVo last night. I'm excited and scared all at the same time. I never like reading directions. I started to hook the thing up and of course came up with my own short cut. TiVo is now hanging half out of my TV cabinet, the box's contents are strewn about my living room floor, and the directions are laying on top of it all. I just left it all there when I realized my shortcut failed, and went to sleep. I don't even want to go home now because I don't want to see the mess. I wish it would just go away. Damn TiVo and your stupid rebate offer. But I am pretty excited for whenever I do end up getting it worked out! I'll be honest, though, my VCR never got hooked up when I first moved into the apartment I live in. That was a year and a half ago. But who watches VHS tapes anymore anyway? I'll be much more motivated to hookup the TiVo soon:)

Enjoy the day,
Mason

*Vrooom*

I can't believe I just drove my friend all the way back home to Oak Park just now... whilst intoxicated.

I'm also eating a McFlurry that I somehow stopped and purchased at a McDonalds drive-thru in downtown chicago on my way back to my apartment.

still drunk.

Goodnight.