QuizNO

I keep giving the Quizno's restaurant near my place of residence a chance. Have you ever had one of those places in your world that, after leaving each time, you ask yourself "why do I keep going there, I don't even like it.." Quizno's fails to impress me each time, yet once every few months I wander into the one by my building anyway.

Weird stuff always goes down at the Q-no's by me, too. Maybe the weird stuff can be attributed to the fact that the store is in the shape of the Bermuda Triangle!! Well, I guess, everything triangular is in the shape of the Bermuda Triangle, but still. It's a TRIANGLE-shaped store; that part is weird enough. It's at the corner of a few intersecting streets so the south end of the store literally comes to a tiny narrow POINT. Not much sittin' room over there in that corner.

Anyway, regardless of the reason for this establishment's weirdness, it's an odd experience whenever I visit. A few months ago I was about to finish paying for my meal and this guy came in the store and started talking right over my shoulder to the manager as if there was no one else in the room but the two of them. He looked like he was probably in the Mexican Mafia. It was hard to tell what the one-sided conversation was regarding but the Quizno's manager just nodded in silent agreement as the Mafiaman said things like "now I like you, I don't want to have to do this." and "you hear me man? I give you one more day man. One more day, look at me... one more day. We're cool my friend... but one more day." The manager looked scared and who knows what I looked like but I sure FELT scared. After all, I was the only thing blocking manager-boy from gunfire.

Mafioso walked out the door and I was handed my change as if nothing had happened. I was glad I got my order to-go.

And by the way the store employs only two people and two people only.. managerboy and his sister (I'm assuming) who speaks the same strange language as Manager. No idea why that's relevant information, I just want you to get the full picture here. Review: Triangle shaped tiny Quiznos, same two employees always, possible deal-gone-wrong situations happening with the Mexican Mafia, etc. Okay we can continue:

On my next visit I ordered a sandwich and the sister-girl forgot how to make it halfway through the process. She stood and stared at the sandwich in front of her for what seemed like 10 minutes as if maybe the bread was about to give her a hint about what she should do next. I was thinking "what... just happened or is ABOUT to happen?" Sisterkins was completely frozen, like she ran out of batteries or was passing gas. I was super uncomfortable and feeling like maybe having the customer stare at her would only make her more nervous I started pretending like I was picking out chips off the rack, looking at my cell phone and just generally acting as though I had not noticed she was in a state of rigamortis. I did sort of want to keep an eye on her though because clearly ANYTHING could happen between those two pieces of bread at that point as she obviously was about to start guessing what ingredients to throw in there. For all I knew I was about to get a Broccoli Cheddar Soup Sandwich with pickles. She pulled it off in the end *whew" but still a weird experience. After she rang me up and I got my soda she asked "you need more napkins?!" Um.. do I look like I need more napkins before I've even started eating?

Another time when I was enjoying a fine dining experience at this Quizno's the manager man returned to the store from, somewhere. He had left sissy to run the store while he was away apparently. He came in with another person, a friend I guess, and they were both speaking their special language that I neither understand nor have ever heard before in my life. They both walked through the front door together but Manager headed back behind the counter while his friend stayed by the entrance, turned around facing the front door, reached up and began to rub a horseshoe that was nailed to the wall above the front door. He rubbed it with his right hand probably about 15 strokes worth. He then said something else in Pig Latin (or whatever) and walked out. I looked around at other people in the restaurant to see if anyone else A.) saw this and B.) thought it was as funny as I did. Obviously just a little superstition happening there, which is no big deal, but still a peculiar thing to witness.

They do offer you free chips and a drink if you bring your receipt back on your next visit, so that's cool. I never save my receipt but I still appreciate the offer.

MMM MM MMMM MMM MMM TOASTY!,
M.db