The V.I.P. room at 35k FT

I came home a few days ago from a great trip home for Thanksgiving. A longer than expected trip.

The weekend following Thanksgiving, my alma mater (Univ. of Oklahoma) won their final football game of the season thus sending them to the Big12 championship. The game was being held at the Alamodome in San Antonio the next weekend. I couldn't turn down my parents offer to take me to the game if they found tickets. They found tickets. So I returned to Chicago a week later than anticipated but who would complain. I had a really good time with the mom and dad.



(me @ the Big12 championship, being very proud to sport my school colors)

My flight back to Chicago was less than half full, which I loved. It's so great to spread out on a whole row to yourself. My i-pod had it's VERY own seat next to me and my laptop got to use the tray table to my right to sit on for my movie viewing pleasure. It's also nice to have my own row because I like to sit in the window seat but I hate to make two people beside me get up so I can use the bathroom during the flight. Nooooo problem on this trip. No one even lining up to use the lavatory either.

When I fly, I always have to piss. Doesn't matter how short or long the flight is, it's like clockwork. Once above 10,000 feet I am permitted to use my approved portable electronic devices AND I simply must also use the toilette. *ding*


It's like going into a private little oasis once you're in a bathroom lav. Granted it's an oasis that smells like urine and weirdly bad air freshener, but still it's sometimes better than being elbow to elbow with a guy that looks like Mike Ditka and a woman that smells like cats. Every time I close the lavatory door behind me and lock it, I get that *WHEW* feeling, like I just left the paparazzi outside and I've hidden from the public eye. I can now do WHATEVER I want.. for like 2 minutes or else it starts to look weird. All I do, of course, is pee, but it's still like you're in a private little V.I.P. box for a moment. No one can see me! I'm not buckled up! Weeeee!

And let me tell you something I've noticed: I look GOOD in airplane bathroom lighting. I don't know what it is about that gentle glow, but when I finish my bizuss and turn towards the mirror I always think to myself "did I look like this when we took off??" The answer is probably no. Anyone who knows me will realize I don't typically look in the mirror and say "duh-ammn you are fine." On the contrary I'm sort of difficult on myself, so it's obviously something about the lighting in there. I look pleasantly sun kissed, my hair looks all purdy, my complexion is suddenly flawless. Who are YOU all of a sudden and do you wanna join the mile-high club? Oh it's just a reflexion.

What IS this alternate universe? Then BAM you unlock the door and step back into reality and I look like the haggard traveler again, headed for my seat next to Cat Woman and Ditka. I feel like saying to the people at the front of the plane "Hey you should have SEEN me in there! I. Looked. Awesome." They wouldn't believe me. Luckily though, no one was next to me on this plane so no talking had to happen at all.

I sometimes think, in a very Twilight Zone way, how freaky it would be if you came out of the plane's bathroom and you were suddenly on a different plane than you were on when you entered the bathroom. Like; on an American Airlines flight bound for Dallas, you go into the bathroom, and when you come out you're suddenly on a completely different plane headed God knows where.

"this.. wasn't.. the way the plane looked before I went in there.."

And then you'd be all embarrassed to ask someone where the plane was heading because they'd think you were CRAZY. "Duh, we're going to Jakarta.." And FURTHERMORE, where would you sit in this scenario?! Everyone would notice that suddenly there's a new guy next to them. "Hey! Where'd you come from!?" Just something to think about in case it ever happens to you.


(bye bye Texas)

Well anyway, that's all I got. Quit trying to make Amy Winehouse go to rehab, she already said no like THREE times.

G'night!
M.db