Kiwi

I love kiwis. They are ever so tasty but unfortunately are also absolute whores when it comes to trying to actually eat them.

The kiwi must be one of the most complicated fruits to peel. You should see the mess and frustration that just occurred in my kitchen as I tried to strip and consume a kiwi. it took me close to 10 minutes just to get the thing to the edible point (after dropping it on the floor twice trying to peel it). There's kiwi juice on the floor, shavings from the peel on the counter and by this point is it even worth it? A kiwi is like the size of a golf ball. *chomp* it's gone. 10 min to prepare and 2 seconds to enjoy.

I bet if I was stranded on some deserted island it would be just my luck that the only food available was DELICIOUS kiwi's everywhere.. and then knowing me I'd be too damn lazy to deal with it and just starve to death.

M.db

Fright and Flight

When life deals me lemons, I don't make lemonade. I make travel plans. I get my happy ass on AA.com and push some buttons with my debit card in one hand and a glass of syrah in the other until a booking confirmation email comes my way.

I have this habit/reaction to any extended stint of bad moods or unfortunate chains of events. That reaction is: "get me the fuck out of here." It's my own little version of fright and flight.

lauren always says "when life is bad to lauren, lauren is GOOD to lauren" and I agree with this theory. So speaking of lauren and me having a bad week, I went ahead and booked a ticket to visit her in NYC next Friday. Running from your problems can be fun if you've got somewhere cool to run to, right? JUST kidding. Of course I don't endorse running from things and that's not really what I'm doing. There's no "problems," either, it's just been a crap week and getting some friend time and some out-of-town time in a fun place is a refreshing way to take a step back for a moment. My friends are always welcoming like that, and I really appreciate it. A quick two day jaunt to the grande apple, a different backdrop for drinking and who knows maybe I'll buy something (like a NY license plate key chain that has my name on it. Yeah right, I can NEVER find souvenirs with "Mason" written on them!)

Three things that are annoying me:

Thing one: Last night it was about -10 degrees and the wind was gusting up to 50mph making the windchill approach -30. There is ice on the INSIDE of my balcony door and the temperature has climbed to a balmy -2. Brr.

Thing two: I woke up at 5:30 this morning and couldn't fall back asleep. 2nd night in a row I had early morning nightmares about being attacked by something/someone. screw that.

Thing three: Getting so tired of every time I tell someone I'm a Realtor these days they say "Ohhhhh how's that going" (in that.. "tone"). Or "bad market, huh?" or "must be a tough time for that."

SHUT. and. UP.

I'll tell you something, assholio, yes it's a slower market than it was 5 years ago but A.) that doesn't mean people don't still move, buy and sell. Real estate will always happen. B.) you know what probably ALWAYS is a "tough time?" Being in your retarded desk job from 9 to 5.

It is a slower market though, yes. And you can't blame a person for not having anything else to relate to you with regarding your job other than the doomsday stuff they hear on TV about foreclosures and all that biz. It's just that I would be pretty annoying if every time someone said they were a lawyer I said "oooh lots of people don't like you, huh?" or when a person tells me they're a CPA I responded with "pretty boring shit, huh?"

This post is stoopid.

Love,
M.db

Show Me Your Body

We have all been Jennifer Aniston'ed.

At some point in life, everyone has been a Lance Bass (let's be honest we know it was him who got broken up with, not the other way around).

And in some form or fashion, each of us has played the part of the kid who got asked to prom, not knowing it was as a joke, and then waits in the living room fully dressed until 11pm.. just in case.

A call that never gets returned, a question that never gets answered, suddenly being blown off without a reason given. A date that never shows.

We have all been denied something we felt we deserved, only to look back and feel foolish for hoping.

I have this "produce the body" theory.. hear me out. Example: when victims of something awful like a terrorist attack die and there's no remains to even bury in the ground or a loved one simply vanishes but a body is never found, the family members have a difficult time properly grieving. We need a cause of death when things vanish from our lives or at least something concrete that shows it's really over and gone. Simply having something disappear isn't an appropriate explanation as to why it isn't tangible any longer. Human beings, by nature, need closure. If someone you had been with for years walked in one day and simply said "I am leaving, and I am not in love any longer" you'd want to 'produce a body' so to speak, and being refused an answer is the worst form of insult on top of injury. Being left in the dark is so frustrating and painful when you've already played the fool and now you're not even sure why.

Show me WHY. Show me what the cause of this death was, otherwise I can't wrap my mind around it being dead when I can't even physically see a wound. Like a person vanishing off the face of the earth with no sign of foul play.. only leaving you to grapple with your own imagination regarding what on earth went wrong and who (or what) was to blame.

When I was a child and my parent's would tuck me into bed at night I would be afraid to fall asleep with all the lights off. I made them leave the door cracked open just so I wouldn't be in complete darkness.

I am now 27 years old, and though I don't fear sleeping without a light on any longer, I can confidently say that I am still, though in other ways, petrified of being left in the dark.

M.db

Walt Disney Presents..

If you happened to be driving down Diversey right near Pine Grove here in Chicago today at around 4:45pm today, you got a show. The main character of the show was me and the duration of the program was about 4 seconds.

I parked my car at a meter right in front of the store I was quickly popping into today on Diversey, still clad in my gym clothes and a light, and therefore not suitable for the snowy weather, jacket. I knew I was just going from the car to this store though, so no big deal. As I stepped out of my car the cold wind hit me so I locked my car and jogged around the front of it to reach the sidewalk.

You know that sort of slow jog you do when you're not RUNNING towards something, but it's just sort of, like in this instance, cold so you do a little mini-jog towards wherever you're going? Well that's what I was doing.... for a moment anyway.

As I jumped up onto the sidewalk from the street and turned to head to the front door of the shop, both of my feet, upon making contact with what I soon realized was solid ice, flew out from under me. Rather than turning slightly to my right, I took flight.

Oh to have the slow motion replay of that moment.. preferably with a close-up of my facial expression.

Flat on the ground, face down.

As if I didn't look sexy enough coming straight from the gym with a mis-matched outfit of blue Puma Pants, black shoes and a brown jacket. Now I got to draw a little more attention to myself as a line of no less than 15 cars waited at the stop light 3 feet from my landing pad and got to see my rendition of Disney's "Mason on Ice."

I laughed out loud.
I have a feeling others did too.
My pride.. well it cried, but I laughed.

M.db

Update

About 10 days after the holidays coming to a close, I have an update.

The hoodie isn't tight anymore. 5 holiday pounds went away in about a week. That wasn't so hard! Why don't I always eat healthy and work out regularly? But now the downside is that my jeans feel a little loose which annoys me.

Moral of the story: I'm never satisfied.

M.db

Study Abroad in Chicago

One of my brother's oldest friends called me a couple days ago. He and his wife are planning a trip to Chicago in the Spring to catch a Cubs game and have a little getaway. He wanted to touch base with me to get some advice on some of the other things they were planning on doing while in town.

I'm getting tired of people's fascination with the idea or concept of me living in Chicago, as if I'm colonizing Mars. Lauren and I have talked about this a lot as she obviously gets the same boggled fascination from people when she goes back home about her living in NYC. It's usually from people who I haven't spoken to in quite some time, friends of the family or relatives that aren't in touch often. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind if people are excited about where I live, or anxious to visit. What gets frustrating is when it appears MIND BLOWING to someone, like I live in some crazy different universe. "Wow! What's THAT like?!" I guess I get the same from Chicago people about being from Texas and going to college in Oklahoma. "What was THAT like" so I tell those folks at home that Chicago is like living in a WHOLE different world, a frozen one at that, where everyone has abortions on the street and they mug each other to fund the operation. And of course to the people here who are curious about my past I just let them know that we rode horses to school, shat in the backyard (I mean.. pasture) and filled our cereal bowl with milk straight out of the cow's teet.

Okay, I don't really go that far.


I've now lived here for three and a half years, though, and these same people ALWAYS ask the same questions.

So here's a couple questions I'm tired of hearing from people "back home" that I haven't spoken to in a while:

1.) "So.. you really like it up there, huh?"
Like it's REALLY hard to believe.

2.) "So.. think you'll ever move home and work for your dad?"
Yes, of course- that's the plan. I moved here, have already told you I like it here and love what I'm doing for a living.. but fuck this I'm out of here next month.

Really though, most of these people think it's great that I moved somewhere I wanted to live and are, in fairness, just excited about the idea of something that seems different. I guess my point is that NEITHER place is that different from the other fundamentally and it's sort of comical to think of it being such a BIG deal. It's just minor lifestyle changes that make both environments appealing in their own way.. and I think that's cool.

I suppose what irritates me is the constant questioning about moving home. This wasn't some place I moved to set up shop for a little while with the intention of heading straight back to my birthplace. My answer is always the same; that I don't ever want to say "never" about moving home, but that it's not on the radar and this is where I plan to stay. Do people think I'm studying abroad? This isn't a Semester at Sea, folks. I actually moved. I have things like a mortgage and a JOB.

Life always seems like steps towards the next accomplishment, and people around us help that along. People asking what you want to do when you get out of school and then once you're there (here in Chicago) they ask you when you're coming back.

As a kid you think often about growing up, where you're going to go to college and what you will "be" when you get big.

In high school you can't wait to leave your family's grasp and FINALLY be on your own.

In college, you have fun but stress about where you'll work and what internships you'll get. You look back at younger years and wish someone was doing your laundry and that things were being paid for.

In the work world, no one really takes you seriously until you're in your 30's so you frantically try to prove yourself and hurry to get older. All the while looking back wishing you were as carefree as you were in college (which, of course, is where you stressed your ass-off trying to get the heck out of there).

You reach your 30's and elders still think you're a "baby" in your career but somehow your age has made you certifiably legitimate in your career, in your mind anyway. You wish you were in your 20's and it's surprising your parents still worry about you like you are 15 and tell you to be careful often.

At 40, 30 seems young and you plan for the ways you'll retire. You begin to start stories with "I used to.. " and "when I was.." Still living in the past and looking to the future.

I guess my point is that we constantly HURRY to get to the next level and I worry I'll look back someday and wish I had just enjoyed where I was, at each point in my life that I was there. Others make that difficult sometimes by not taking you seriously. Taking you TOO seriously. Pushing you to get to the next phase. Reminding you you're not there yet. Oh and ,of course, by wondering when living in Chicago will wear on you to the point of moving back home.

Maybe when I'm 30, it will appear as though I know what I'm doing.
Maybe when I'm 40, I'll enjoy the fruits of my labor rather than worrying when the fruit will run out.
...and maybe when I've lived in Chicago for 20 years, people won't ask me "so.. do you think you'll ever move home and work for your dad?"

Signing off from colonial Mars,
M.db

Tooks Years Eve

Lauren came to stay with me and spend New Years in Chicago. We did some tooling around the city, eating of Chicago style pizza and attempted to ice skate downtown. We then, as planned, spent the actual New Years Eve inside, which was a wonderful idea. Not only did we avoid the expense and chaos of an evening surrounded by drunk strangers, the weather turned into basically a white-out and getting drunk and crazy at home with a good friend was just what the bartender ordered.

Millenium Park, cold weather, warm friendship.



"The Bean" in Millenium Park or a scene from the 80's movie "Flight of the Navigator"... you decide.


Some Michigan Avenue shopping and Midwest Snow.


Public transportation photo-op.


We went ice skating!! Well, we almost did..until we got frost bite on our feet waiting through a 45 min. line in about 15 degree weather. But HEY, we gave it our best and coffee across the street seemed like a safer plan.


We avoided the mess of both the blizzard outside and New Years chaos in general by staying in, having fun and getting drunk.. and GO!


?!? First of several activities with the Christmas Tree that evening. Poor tree was included in the party against its will.


Blizzard outside? Sure, but we're having a New Years drink on the balcony come hell or high water (or high snow?)


What happens when two friends stay in for new years during a snow storm? Answer: Fun! Dance Dance.


lauren freakin' the Christmas tree


Mason and lauren BOTH freakin' the Christmas Tree.. the tree was scared.


New Years Eve happy-dance/jog around my living room. Action shot!


Our name is Tooks, and we like to DANNNNCCEE!


Happy New Year Y'all,
M.db

My Face Hurts (but yours is killing me)

My parent's housekeeper either shrank my hoodie in the wash or I gained more weight over the holidays than I even thought. The only thing that leads me to believe it may be the washing machine's fault rather than my insatiable Christmas-time apetite's fault is that the hoodie also seems shorter than before it was washed at my parent's house. Shrinkage or fat gainage? You decide. I've made up my mind.. it's a combination.

I work mainly out of my home and therefore when I wake up, I'm AT the office already (special, huh). This also means that I don't typically rise-and-shine super early. If I do rise early I rarely do the "shine" part. Reason one, I don't often have to wakeup early. And reason two: I fucking hate waking up early. Well that and I really love sleeping. Today I woke at 5:30 with the pesky urge to urinate. When I returned to bed I couldn't fall back to sleep. After rolling around in bed with my thoughts for a while I decided to just rise, but not shine of course. The sun was taking care of the shine part, which seems rare lately. I looked out the window and thought it was a really bright UFO it looked so foreign in the sky. Damn winter.

So anyway, cinnamon rolls from Ann Sather seemed like a better plan than fighting my way back to slumber.

**side note: Am I surprised my hoodie feels tight!?**

I put some clothes on and walked down the road headed for my destination of tastiness . About 2 blocks into the trek I started to think this was a bad idea when a bank clock read that the current temperature was 0 degrees. No wonder my EYEBALLS hurt. Come to find out on the radio a few minutes later the wind chill was negative 10. I made it to my cinnamon rolls and my nose hairs thawed back out (that part isn't a joke, the inside of my nose became icey).

Now I'm chillin' at a coffee shop across the street from my breakfast. I figured I can get some work done from here without any of the distractions of my living room and let's be real- I'm scared to walk back home until it warms up (ie- JUNE). Since I have a few months before that happens I had some time to blog, so.. 'ello gov'na!

I bet I'm the only person in Caribou Coffee listening to Christian praise music on his headphones right now. I love a good inspirational Christian jam.

So with that, I bid you farewell.

"Shout to the Lord all the Earth let us sing.."
M.db