Dear Will Smith,
I can't/won't take you seriously. You will always be The Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire to me. So next time you think about making a movie (or an album) just say "nah, forget it, yo homes.. to BEL-AIRE!"
Regards,
M.db
As a former fattie I understand the importance of feeding a sweet tooth (and feeding in general). This evening after a couple glasses of red wine and a hot bath I decided that the tilapia with a side of steamed green beans I ate at 6pm wasn't holding me over any longer. It was clear I needed something more, something sweet. It's been 3 hours since dinner... three hours too long. Now, logic would have me make the short elevator ride down to my dealer to buy me a fix. My "dealer" is the building market on the ground floor. It's my "dealer" because I always purchase things there that are bad for me. Sodas, ice cream, cake batter (yes, that has happened) and alcohol- basically I'm just a few substances away from buying something illegal there like a dime or possibly something I could free-base, assuming I knew what free-basing entailed.
So, fresh off of my wine-jacuzzi experience I stood in my kitchen, naked, with a towel wrapped around my head like a turban, not because I needed to dry my hair but because I was tired of it falling off my waist. Plus it looked funny in the full length mirror every time I danced by it to the music playing from my iTunes. I opened the fridge, the freezer and the cabinets.. nothing. What would fix my craving?
"Be resourceful," I told myself "there's absolutely no reason to put clothes on and waste your time and money going downstairs when you could find something RIGHT here."
And find something I did. It was tough, but I did scrounge up some ingredients. A box of graham crackers, powdered sugar, a banana, cocoa powder and fat-free liquid coffee creamer. There was other stuff available, yes, but onions, salsa, gold fish and Kashi cereal wouldn't heal my desires. So, like a boy scout, or maybe an insatiably obese version of MacGuyver, I used what little materials I had to find a solution to my current problem.
A homemade chocolate icing-like-mixture (made with the powdered sugar, coffee creamer and cocoa powder) with 3 graham crackers smashed into it and topped with banana slices. "Disgusting!" you might exclaim, and I'll be honest I am not going to disagree with your sentiments. I will say, however, that with a lil' creativity, a few simple ingredients and a mild-to-moderate wine buzz, I'm now fairly convinced you can make sense out of any dilemma.
Hey, maybe Barack Obama could take the few simple ingredients that are his political experiences, use a lil' creativity and booze himself up a bit! Then, like me solving the issue of my sweet tooth, he could solve the mystery behind so eloquently rambling about change for months with no realistic ideas on implementation. Ohhhhhhhhhh I just got all political on your ass! Let's not go there (and calm the fuck down, it's a joke).
But speaking of things that are a seemingly appealing quick-fix to current problems yet have absolutely no substance and are probably detrimental to your well-being in the long run... here's a picture of my gross dessert creation. I'd tell you the exact proportions I used but I'm considering selling the recipe to Appleblee's and I'm not interested in you beating me to the punch. I think I'll actually vote for this graham cracker thing in the 2008 election as a write-in candidate. It probably has more political experience than Obama and is a lot younger than McCain. Win-win. We shall call it McObamaCain-Surprise and it will rule with an iron fist! 
Very Truly,
M.db
oh, and if you dare comment on the political jokes/references (remember, just jokesssss) made in this post I swear to God I will punch you...I'll punch you right in the hand you use to VOTE. Then I'll make fun of you for taking things too seriously and having a gimp hand with no voting abilities.
I love that Chicago has a very active public transportation system. I have plenty of friends who say things like "Ugh, I haven't ridden the bus in FOREVER" with that disgusted tone as if they can't believe I'd step foot on one. I, however, love that when I'm walking down the street I can just jump on a passing bus that will take me where I'm going a lot faster than on foot and for under two bucks. It's like a great big crowded taxi, but one that stops a lot, is a lot less expensive.. and is sounding nothing like a taxi at all suddenly. Anyway, I digress. You know what's worth even more than convenience and a buck seventy five? The entertainment factor that can be found within the confines of a Chicago Transit Authority vehicle.
I feel somewhat bad even posting this but don't worry I didn't make it obvious that I snapped this photo with my phone - I pretended I was text messaging. I couldn't help myself, though. This person was either asleep or dead but either way was making quite a spectacle. A big... fat... spectacle. Her calf tat reads: "Italian Pride." And proud the Italians must be on this the fourth day of July as this woman cruises around town, passed out on a bus, mouth open, taking up THREE seats and representing Italy and Italians everywhere:
Oh, and this guy standing next to her had a tear in his pants, which I also liked for some reason. Not sure within what nationality/country his pride lies.. probably just good ole' American. We may never know because if he has a calf tat letting us know, it was covered. Pity.
Happy Fourth of July,
M.db
As mentioned my condo has new paint, yay. Also, my building's board voted a while back to give our hallways new carpet, yay 2.0!
My floor finally got the carpet installed (they're obviously doing it floor be floor x48 floors which is a daunting task I don't care to even think about) and I'm happy about the new flooring. The color.. whatever, it's fine and neutral and way better than the blue shit we had before, but what I'm most excited about is that new carpet smell. It makes me super happy. Every time I get off the elevator and walk down the hall I breathe in that fresh carpet aroma and then walk into my newly painted condo and it's just so much newness I don't even know what to do with myself!
I'm glad the hallway has some new decor going on. I think the timing of the new carpet right as I got new paint seems great. I feel like it somehow coincides with the new scheme within my condo. The hall is like an extension of my home after all, even if it is public domain. Does this make any sense?
Mmmm that 'new carpet smell,' so good I could almost munch on it (gross mason):
My only regret is that the condo board voted against the expense of replacing the wall sconces that I lovingly refer to as the "Headroom sconces" because I'm pretty sure my building's decorator was Max Headroom at the time of construction (ie- the sconces look so 1986 it's not even funny).
My building's apparent interior designer back when this place was erected in '87:
The Headroom Sconce pictured below. If you click this picture to enlarge it you can see, in more detail, the lovely white metal texture and fantastically dated geometric shape of the sconce. They might as well have installed lights that looked like rubix cubes and somehow played "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" as you pass them. 1987 was a good year though and if I ever need reminding of that all I have to do is walk out my front door:
Anyway, hooray for that new-condo-smell
M.db
Yay! My place is completely painted and it only took the crew two days instead of the estimated four. The experience overall was really great. I'm glad I went with a company that was high end and professional, after they were gone there wasn't even an ounce of dust from sanding. I'm loving the color choices as well.
While the painters were here I was around a lot of the time since I work from home. At one point I had my music playing on my laptop while I stood in the kitchen (no where else to sit) and my iTunes playlist was on. iTunes started going through my collection of Shakira's "old stuff," pre-crossover to English. I'm a big ole' fan of Spanish music but I also realize that I look about as Latino as a red-headed Irishman. The painters, on the other hand, were Mexican.
I didn't want to turn my music off, I LIKE my Piez Descalzos album, but I was starting to feel like the painters might assume it was a strategic move on my part. Like "Look! The music of YOUR people!" So I turned it down each time they were in the area because I felt like a kid trying to show off to the older boys by pretending to drink alcohol or something.
This past weekend I went to NYC to visit lauren and had a nice time just relaxing and spending good quality friend-time together. And, of course, eating at S'mac which I do every time I visit. S'mac serves a billion different varieties of gourmet macaroni and cheese and I'm seriously considering stealing the idea and opening one of my own in Chicago. I probably wouldn't let anyone in the door though, I'd just sit in the restaurant and eat all the macaroni myself.
I love Chicago so hard. I think it's a good sign when you return from a trip and feel so ecstatic to be back. Not because you didn't have a good time, not because you didn't enjoy where you were, but because you're exactly where you want to be. It's like coming home to a lover after having been away from them for a few days. Actually, I sort of hate the word "lover," it sounds creepy but for this example you get it. I thoroughly enjoyed visiting lauren in New York (her city lover) and got excited to be back in the arms of Chicago, my city lover. Wait.. is that sad? My lover is a city. Oh well, I am happy in my relationship with Chicago.
M.db
