Waiting to Inhale

Whenever someone jogs past me, and they're all sweaty, I try not to breathe in until they've passed by. You know how you feel that breeze as they run by? I hate when that breeze full of smell hits me. I'll breathe out for as long as possible, sometimes like 15 straight seconds, until they are long gone so as not to suck in any of their sweat-smell. I nearly pass out several times at the gym as a result.

Smells are so weird, they say it's the last thing you forget or the sense that you remember the longest- whichever way you want to look at it. I guess that's why I have walked into a random location and suddenly had a vivid memory of my elementary school cafeteria just because of the smell in that particular place. Speaking of, I could really go for some rectangle shaped pizza from an elementary school cafeteria right about now. You know what I also loved? School spaghetti and meat sauce. I wish it was on the menu at restaurants. If it were served at a restaurant I wouldn't want it to be all fancied up either, I want it to be watery, made in bulk, and served on a tray that has separate dividers for your milk, veggies, bread and main course. Then I want the waiter to take my tray and be able to watch it get rinsed off back in the kitchen with that giant hose that comes down from the ceiling operated by someone wearing a hair net, JUST like in school. Okay maybe not all of those things, but most. How is that for a smell memory?

I don't want to remember people's body odor though. So, moral of the story: I try to not form the memory in the first place. I see 'em coming and I just take a deep breath in and hope that mo-fo is running fast because for the next several seconds this guy is exhaling until they're gone.

M.db